Many Years Ago, by René Rasmussen

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Many years ago I tried to ride for the first time. I was a bit anxious, but also enjoyed it very much. A few days later, I told my girlfriend: Let us buy a horse, which we did! This was a conscious wish, though it surely had an unconscious cause.

A few years ago, I had a dream of two peoples singing and playing an instrument, though they were not very good. Then I joined them and sang a beautiful song and played an instrument very well. We were a very good trio. I do not remember which instrument, and when I told my analyst about the dream he said: “Oh, you want to learn to sing”, to which I answered: “No way”. I had not sung for years, never sung well, and did not like this idea. In the following months, I had two or three dreams in which I played the guitar.

I knew a guy, who never had played bass, and he joined a now very famous Danish band with his bass, therefore I said to myself: “You can also learn to play the guitar.” A few weeks after these dreams, I started attending guitar-lessons and bought my first guitar. I had never ever thought about playing any instrument whatsoever so beforehand. It is difficult to learn, but I followed the wish as it manifested itself in my dreams. And slowly I got started to sing songs while playing the guitar. In the beginning I was rather shy and a bit ashamed, but now I enjoy my voice, which is getting better, and I also take singing lessons. I will for sure never be as good as I was in my dream, which underlines that the unconscious is rather intelligent.

But my “no way” was an unknown lie. Freud says that the unconscious does not contain contradictions, but somehow in me there was a contradiction between an unknown wish to sing and a “no way”. My analyst’s interpretation of the dream brought me there, though I do not know its source. “No way” did not prevent me from beginning to sing or play the guitar, but the words may be an emblem of my unconscious structure.